I just noticed that I rarely say "I forgive you" when someone apologizes. I say "thank you," "no problem," "no worries," or "it's ok." I might say, "thank you, I really appreciate it." I almost never say "I forgive you." What's that about?
Forgiving someone for a harm means acknowledging both the offender's and the offense's humanity. People who ask for forgiveness have humbled themselves; forgiving means that I accept that offenders have realized they messed up, even while they tried to do the best they could given their circumstances. As a forgive-ee, I also humble myself, making myself aware of my own imperfections; if I can forgive myself for my human frailties, I can do the same for others. Yeah, it sounds arrogant, but really, it's not.
So how come I rarely say, "Yes, I forgive you?"
Maybe it's that I've been trained to either look past harms done to me or to not expect apologies, so I don't really have experience in what's the "done thing" to say. Maybe it's that I feel inappropriately over-grateful because there's an acknowledgment of a hurt. It could be that I feel embarrassed that someone took the time to even think about having wronged me.
Next time someone apologizes, I'll try saying, "Thank you - I forgive you," and see what happens.
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