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Showing posts from March, 2016

One year later ... helping kids remember

Funerals can be confusing for children. They have lots of questions and - very often - unspoken fears. "Where's grandma?" "Why can't I see grandpa?" "Why is mommy crying?" 
How parents/grownups respond can make all the difference to a child and help grownups heal.

I was recently asked if it's appropriate to bring a child to the cemetery for an unveiling (the dedication of a headstone, usually one year after the burial). 

Here's my answer:

While there are no proscriptions against children going to a cemetery for a funeral - it all depends on the maturity of the child - most parents prefer to let kids stay elsewhere or with someone else during burials.

But an unveiling is a more benign and frequently less-traumatic experience for immediate mourners. A year or so has passed, emotions are less raw, and there's a certain sense of loving resignation.

With all that, the answer is "it's up to you." The questions to ponder are: