Elul 3: Do I judge? Heck, yeah.

People say it like it's a bad thing: "Don't judge."
"You're so judgmental."

Someone posted a concern on a Facebook page today: she felt bad for judging someone for both not vaccinating a child and for needing to tell that anti-vaxxer that she and her unvaccinated children weren't welcome to visit her and her newborn child.

I heard her loud and clear. And I wrote this:

Hi, (name redacted) ...

I'm a mom of a 32 year-old daughter and 29 year-old twin sons, so I think I'm qualified to say this: You are going to be an awesome mom (I bet you already are), and you are absolutely permitted to judge other peoples' choices. It doesn't matter how judging others' choices makes you feel; what matters is that - God willing for many, many years - you are going to be making life/death decisions for your child. You MUST judge other peoples' decisions because your discernment (a nicer, maybe more PC, word) may one day save you or your child's life.

You will judge your child's friends and maybe have to tell your child, "No, you cannot play with [blank]." You will judge your child's decisions, "It is wrong to lie or cheat or hurt someone else" - "it's wrong to smoke" - lots of things.

You will judge your friends; decisions and - as you're learning now - maybe have to tell a friend, "No, you cannot come over - no, you cannot smoke in front of my kid - no, you cannot drink and then drive my kid - no, you cannot visit me/my newborn if you/your children have not been vaccinated."

It's all good - and it's your privilege to judge what's best for you and your family.

I'll jump off the soapbox now.

Penny

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